The Quick Cut:

• Setting boundaries is necessary to stay consistent with our health goals.

• Boundaries help prevent overwhelm, which can cause us to cut our ongoing our ongoing health habits.

• Females can struggle with setting boundaries due to their giving nature.

  Be bold, speak up and set the right boundaries; this may mean saying “no;” this conversations can be tricky to have.

• Make sure you’re not ‘feeling bad’ for setting the boundary; it will be better for the both of you in the long run because it allows you to be at your best.

• You can also ask for help to reduce the need to do everything yourself and get overwhelmed.

The Long Slice:

For my fellow people pleasers, please know this:

A prerequisite for consistently executing our fitness habits is having proper boundaries in place with people. It provides you with the freedom to actually do the activity you need to do to keep your body optimal (e.g. do your workout, sit down and eat your meals, perform your morning empowerment routine, etc.)

With this habit of setting boundaries, we’re ensuring that you create the right dynamic among the people in your life to help them better understand your health goals and need for ‘me time.’

This habit will also enable you to beat overwhelm, something that many over-40 professionals struggle with.

Operating from overwhelm will only prevent you taking your body to an optimal place but can also hurt your health over time.

When we feel overwhelmed, the mind will inevitably pull back and 'cut out' anything that doesn’t seem urgent. The first thing to go is usually our health habits.

This can set you back with your health and is one of the major reasons that people 'yoyo' in weight or with their results.

Ladies, kindly take note:

In my experience coaching both male and female professionals, I’ve noticed that females seem to struggle more with this area.

That’s because women are nurturers and ‘givers’ by nature. They give to their kids, they give to their partners, they give to their parents, and they give to their work. By the time they're done giving to everyone else, there’s very little time to give to themselves for self-care and health habits.

Studies have also shown that women are harder on themselves than are men.

Add to these innate traits mindset struggles around perfectionism, too much self-reliance (i.e. not asking for help), or a tendency to ‘people-please,’ and it can create a perfect storm of overwhelm.

Whether you are a man or a woman, it’s important to create space via establishing boundaries. They prevent overwhelm and call you to by bravely say ‘no’ to certain obligations and courageously asking for support where needed.

I call this setting ‘Bolder Boundaries.’

How To Make Your Boundaries Bolder

There is great power in speaking up and being bold.

This habit requires you to literally ‘train’ the people in your life on what you will be doing and at what time (e.g., ‘Dear spouse/boss/client/teammate/etc., please note that every Monday night 7pm I will be in the gym. This is important for my ongoing health and stress relief. Thank you in advance for your understanding.’)

After reading that, you might be saying to yourself:

“Yeah right, Deekron. You don’t know my spouse/boss/client/coworker/child/parent!”

I get it.

Many of my clients face the same interpersonal challenges.

Sometimes setting a boundary means having to say ‘no’ to a loved one, coworker, or superior.

Here’s how to go about it tactfully…

Start by telling them when you’ve scheduled a block of time to do your workouts, food shop, meal prep, etc. (I call these blocks of time ‘Anchors’ and we will cover them later in Ch X ‘Keep Efficient Habits.’)

Then, if they try to add a non-essential obligation that interferes with these times, you may need to tactfully set a boundary.

Setting boundaries may be necessary for work, family, or social situations. It can mean having to say things like:

• Work: “Sorry, I can’t work overtime today.”

• Family: “Sorry, honey, I can’t meet with your friends for dinner tonight.”

• Social: “Sorry, BFF, I’m not going to split that bottle of wine with you.”

These conversations can be difficult at times.

Some people ‘feel bad’ or fear consequences if they say no to others.

It’s why we coach our clients to get comfortable setting boundaries and asking for support.

My client Tammy, who is a 58-year-old Senior Finance Executive, had her coworker quit unexpectedly. This doubled Tammy’s workload and caused her to start missing workouts.

So, we coached her on requesting better prioritization of tasks from her boss so that she could do what was important and put off what wasn’t. This created the time she needed to start working out regularly again.

But it wasn’t an easy conversation for her to have. Mary stated, “I wouldn’t have done it without your coaching on this.”

Asking For Help

This is something with which 'self-reliant' high achievers struggle (including myself).

There’s no shame in asking for a helping hand. In fact, we look less competent trying to ‘do it all ourselves’ when things are indeed overwhelming.

My client Betty, who is a fifty-one-year-old Logistics Project Manager, was feeling overwhelmed because she was simultaneously:

• Handling increased demands of her at work.

• Caring for her son while her husband was on an extended work trip.

• Dealing with a sibling who had recently been institutionalized.

• Addressing serious issues in her house, including squirrels in her attic.

• Running back and forth to help out her aging parents, who live 30 miles away.

She was struggling to find the time to do anything at all, let alone stick to her health routine

Betty was especially struggling to stick to her eating plan. As the stress mounted, she’d reach for snacks or some of her son’s candy.

As a result of the overwhelm, her progress plateaued for several weeks.

"Time is the enemy right now," she lamented.

She was clearly in over her head.

So we helped Betty “see beyond the overwhelm” and start implementing some simple changes, including boldly asking her mom to assist with weekly meal prep and cutting down on how many times Betty goes to the supermarket to shop for food.

Sometimes, just asking for a little support (including from a trusted mentor or coach) can make a big difference in preventing overwhelm and finding creative ways to balance your health habits with everything else you’re up against.

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(This was an excerpt from the upcoming book, “The Optimized Executive” © 2023 Deekron Krikorian)

If you’d like to learn more how we train our over-40 professional clients to set bolder boundaries, avoid overwhelm, and stay consistent with the habits that keep them lean, healthy, and confident, drop us a line through this website.